Anaïs och älskarna.

Jag mindes fel i åren med Anaïs Nin.
När dagboken som hon kallar "Fire" börjar är hon fortfarande gift med Hugh Guiler, har rest till New York för att vara hos sin älskare/psykolanalytiker Otto Rank (som hon kallar Huck) för att utbilda sig själv till analytiker. Då kommer hennes andre älskare Henry Miller över havet "on a magic ship" och Anaïs har fullt sjå med att försöka hålla reda på vem hon ska träffa i vems rum när och att skicka hem telegram till Hugh som är kvar i Paris. Man kan säga att hon har mycket att styra med. Mellan varven ligger hon också med några av sina klienter på Ottos analyssoffa. Busy bee.

Bild hämtad här.

(Anaïs har även haft ett förhållande med Henrys fru June under en period)

Now I am at once June and Henry to Huck. I act, do disturb, upset, create tragedy. I am natural, I deceive, I cheat, I am lazy, I tax his forgiveness. Yet he loves me for what I am. Now I am both June and Henry. And Huck is what I was anciently, when I acted heroically, wisely, superhumanly toward Henry. Today I am preeminently human. I weep, laugh; I make scenes. I fight. I lie. I defend myself. I do not try to be good. I give in to my love for Henry. I deceive Huck. I tell him I can't leave for California with him because Hugh is coming, while knowing that Hugh is not coming, and that I am preparing to live with Henry until Hugh comes. I borrow the ring I gave Huck, to have a similar one made for Henry, pretending I am having a seal made. I am always on the point of being discovered by a telephone message, by the mail Henry gets at the Barbizon, by my forgetting my brassiere at Henry's place, the one Huck gave me and knows and would miss, by unconscious slips of the tounge, by saying something about Huck having seen my broken hairbrush and because of this giving me a black lacquer set in a beautiful valise. Every other phrase a lie. To Tranquiilize Huck when I go out with Henry, to tranquilize Henry.